The Crisis... and My Take On It

So right now I am facing a crisis a lot of Young Single Latter Day Saints face... the pressure/desire/time frame of life to get married.  It's a balance which I find hard to explain sometimes. I feel when I express my desire to get married to some of my peers/friends, I get criticized for that and told I need to live more life.  Then on the flip side I feel like when I express my desire about my other dreams in life to my church leaders; there I am criticized for not being married or not making that my only focus. It's frustrating and confusing.   I have all these things I want to do with my life, one of which is getting married.

I want to make it perfectly clear. I want to get married, when the time is right, when I have met the right person.  I don't want to just get married because I can or because it is a check on a list.  I especially don't want to be in a bad/unhappy marriage because I got pressured into getting married at the wrong time or to the wrong person for me.  You can bet I would rather be single in those situations.

I used to think I would have found the right person by the time I was done with college and that I would have that blessing.  But obviously it hasn't happened yet.  I am 23 years old sitting here feeling like something is seriously wrong with me  because I am not married or dating anyone seriously.  I have been home for over a year from my mission and it hasn't happened for me yet.  I have all these friends who have been home for six months and bam! They're married.  But in reality there isn't anything wrong with me. I am just supposed to wait longer than I thought I was going to.

Plain and simple: I am supposed to live the life Heavenly Father wants me to live. Not what someone else imagines for me.

I was supposed to graduate from BYU Idaho when I did.
I was supposed to serve a mission.
I was supposed to be an EFY counselor.
I am supposed to be in grad school at UNLV.
I am supposed to be living in Las Vegas at this moment.
I think that goes for a lot of things in my life right now.

I am happy with where I am. I love looking back and seeing how far I have come in my life. I have lot of reasons to be grateful and excited for my life.

In the future (not in any particular order)...
I want to graduate from grad school. 
I want to work a full time job as a licensed social worker.
I want to travel.
I want to be an awesome aunt to my nieces and nephews.
I want to get married.
I want to ENJOY my life!
I want to be somebody I am proud and happy to be.

In the meantime I found this saying which I want my future husband to say about me when he finally meets me: She was making herself into somebody and not just waiting around to become somebody’s wife.

Tonight... tonight I am grateful for miracles.

I really should be sleeping. But I decided that I need to write something since I am really grateful for this evening. 
Back story: I had decided I was going to go do a session at the temple with a friend's ward tonight at 6:30.  But about half way through the afternoon, I got a crazy idea that I really wanted to go with my friend to get yogurt.  Then I had planned to go visit teaching at 5:30.  I kept thinking that I should push up visiting teaching so I could make it to the session on time.  But the thought kept occurring to me that I shouldn't rush visiting teaching and that I should give the girl enough time.  Then I thought well if I am out by 6 I could still go do sealings and it wouldn't be too late. But I didn't get out of visiting teaching until almost 6:30 and by then I just decided I needed to go home and finish some stuff.
Well come to find out my friend sent me a link to a news article. A really sad thing happened. A man committed suicide in front of the temple this evening between 6:30/6:40ish, right as I would have been walking through the temple doors if things had gone as planned.  I really don't think I would have been harmed physically, but I think I would have been hurting mentally and emotionally right now if I had seen it happen.  So I am grateful for the little promptings that don't seem to be big deals or really matter in the great scheme of things but sometimes actually do.  I am grateful I wasn't put into a situation that would have actually made life harder on me, as I am already stressed out majorly. I am thankful for my Heavenly Father's protection. But that's enough for today. Just remember to be grateful for the small things, because you never know how they really do affect you.  I am going to be thanking Heavenly Father and also praying for the young man and his family and others affected by the events tonight.

Link to the news article.
http://m.lvsun.com/news/2013/nov/19/man-kills-himself-outside-las-vegas-mormon-temple/

Autumn Came to Visit Me! (Not the Season... my Friend!)

My friend Autumn came to visit me in Las Vegas this weekend! Yippee!! We went to Hoover Dam, the Mob Museum, ventured down to the Strip, an amazing donut shop, and a bonfire.  (we didn't take photos everywhere we went though...)  and she is still here... hmmm. I'm working on it.

Lets just remember my small huge ginormous love of Pennsylvania everything... Yep thanks.

Autumn couldn't fit in the BOX! We couldn't take her sad day!

Yes you can see my arms in the reflection in my glasses... the important thing is who cares. This is the bridge over the dam! It's so high! and you can still drive across the dam. Prettttty amazing.

MOB MUSEUM!!! Pretty awesome place. Want to go again. When we took this picture someone said it looked like I had practice taking mug shots. Of course because I've totally been arrested before... not! Too many crime shows?! (Nope that can't be possible)

Bellagio! Lovee it there!

Donuts!!!! Yummy!

This was at Canes. yummy food and I felt like taking pictures and this one turned out great! So yeah. I like my eyes in it. :)

Where has all the time gone?!

One year ago my life was about to change forever in a good way. One year ago, I got on a plane that took off from Pennsylvania leading me toward my future.

My last evening in PA.

My last comp in the mission field dropping me off at the airport with the elders.  I love her dearly. I am so thankful to her in a way she will never know.

Never could I have imagined what life had in store for me. This last year has probably been one of the hardest years of my life. There were days/weeks/months when I thought my trial(s) were never going to end. It was hard, so hard. But looking back now I am SO grateful for what I learned and how I grew. I consider that not having the last year of my life be the way it was would be like cutting off my right arm. That is just how much I needed it. I am so grateful to a Heavenly Father, Who knew exactly what I needed and when I needed it. I am so grateful for the Atonement of Jesus Christ. Without the Atonement, I could have not made it through the trials and I would have have been in a much different place.

My mom was trying to take a picture of me coming down the escalator... but I ran down the stairs instead... haha. Expect the unexpected Mom!

Once I finally made it to my house. My mom made me a really nice banner. I have the best most supportive parents. :)

My Summer in Review

So I am re-posting this because I accidentally deleted my other post about my summer. Here it goes...

It all started with my birthday. :D oh the joys of having a birthday right as summer starts.  (but I lack pictures on my computer of my birthday party... sad day!) It was celebrated with Brave in the park and homemade pizookies at my house. Yum!
I also went to Zion National Park with my brother for the first time. It was so much fun! I loved all of it.

Trail to Angel's Landing. My mom thought I would fall off and die. (which I kinda thought to...so we only got to this point... but STILL that's a feat if you have ever hiked that trail!)

Then off to EFY I went. Originally when I left for the summer I was only contracted for 5 weeks. But within 2 weeks of leaving for Utah I had a total of 10 weeks! It was amazing. I love love love efy. (I want to do it for the rest of my life. But we will see how life works out for me eh?) So just some of the highlights because I could go on and on but I don't think you want me to! 

Provo 2A: Me and my girls. Such a great group to start of my summer. I learned and grew so much that week! It was definitely the first week that I could have needed!

Provo 3A: Love these 2 girls. Rachel the middle one was roommate there in Provo and we become instant best friends. Perfect planning on whoever put us together.  Then Amy the redhead was my roommate at BYU-I my freshman year! It was so much fun to be a counselor with her! (Hard to believe we have known each other for 5 years now!)

Provo 3A: Dani! My friend from home who doesn't live in El Paso anymore... but she came to see me during free time one day! It was so much fun! :)

Provo 3A: My girlies. Love them to death! They were my most favorite older group of the summer. They LOVED to tease me. It was great fun!

Provo 4A: Colored pants day with my cute girls! I only had 8 that week. learning their names was easy!

Nauvoo 1: You are never lost when you can see the temple. The temple will provide direction for you and your family in a world filled with chaos. It is an eternal guidepost which will help you from getting lost in the “mist of darkness.” Elder Gary E. Stevensen   I love this quote and this photo. I loved those girls so so much. Even though when they had boys complaining of girls being loud above them it was them. That's what you get for sticking 6 girls in a hotel room all together for a week. Dance parties and silly 'morse code' conversations with the boys in our group beneath them.

Nauvoo temple. Can I just say Nauvoo was just AMAZING?! I want to go back so BAD! (If I can hopefully I'll get chosen as a counselor to go there again next year!) Nauvoo brought out such tender feelings in me. My testimony of Joseph Smith was strengthened so much. I could go on and on about Nauvoo too. But I will stop here.

SLC 1: Smile! :D Such a fun group of kids. They were super strong and I am confident in each of them.

SLC 1: all of our favorite scriptures spelling EFY. Best idea from a co counselor yet!

SLC 2: My girls! This week was... interesting to say the least. Lots of challenges happened. But a lot of miracles were seen because of those challenges. I probably saw one of the sweetest change of hearts that I have ever seen in my whole entire life.

SLC 2: Some of my absolute favorite boys on the face of the planet. I just love those kids! They really impressed me and continue to impress me now.

SLC 3 My girls and me. aren't they cute?! We had some fun adventures. ha! Oh that week was entertaining!

Rexburg 1: We were a crazy group of kids and I loved it.

Rexburg 2: Have you noticed my crazy streak? if you want to see more refer to facebook pictures! It made it more fun when my girls were crazy with me.

Rexburg 2 Company Dig a Pit! Best company name ever.

Rachel is the blonde and Sarah is the brunette. We met at new counselor training in June.  Then worked Provo 2A and Rexburg 3 together. So we started off the summer and ended it together. They are some of my favorite people of the summer.

Rexburg 3: Noticed my craziness again? ha! Obviously we weren't ready for the picture! I don't remember having my hands in the air either....

Well that was my summer adventures so here I am changed by 200+ youth, 14 co counselors, 10 session directors, 8 building counselors, 7 coordinators later, 1 year older.... Life is good. I have changed in ways I didn't plan on and I am so happy about it. Here you go folks. Now I am off on my next grand adventure which is grad school!

Trailer for Stake Day of Service

VIDEO!!!

So click on the link above labeled video (I'm original I know). So my stake is having a stake day of service this weekend and some people in my ward decided to make a video preparing us for it. It's hilarious. You will understand my ward if you watch it.  Enjoy. Oh and I really don't know where my Bishop came up with the whole ghetto blast thing. It was hilarious having him say it in Relief Society on Sunday.

Ramblings for Mother's Day

Over the last couple of weeks, I have been thinking about the definition of home because of a conversation I had with my mom.  And the other night I had this thought come to me: "They say home is where you hang your hat, but I believe home is where you give your heart."  And as I thought about that, all the places I consider to be  my home are with people who I gave my heart and I received theirs in return.  I haven't always just called my parents house home.  I have called friend's houses as a second home at times or my apartment at school I referred to as my home a lot of the time.  Even though I had many homes, it was okay because they were all places I felt loved, welcomed, and as someone should that mattered. I am grateful to have been able to give my heart to many people.

Then immediately I started thinking about my wonderful, kind, and loving mother.  She is someone who has always given her heart regardless. She has definitely given her heart to each of her children.  She is always concerned with our well being, and has always been there for us(whether we were willing to turn to her or not). She has guided me through some of my most difficult trials and celebrated with me in all of my happiest moments.  She has always been there and will always be there for me. Because she loves me and I love her in return, wherever my parents will live someday will always be home to me.

Me and my momma in front of the LDS Las Vegas Temple.
Isn't she beautiful?! Now you can all see where my good looks come from! ;) 

But anyway that is my story for the night.

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY!!!!!!!!!!