So right now I am facing a crisis a lot of Young Single Latter Day Saints face... the pressure/desire/time frame of life to get married. It's a balance which I find hard to explain sometimes. I feel when I express my desire to get married to some of my peers/friends, I get criticized for that and told I need to live more life. Then on the flip side I feel like when I express my desire about my other dreams in life to my church leaders; there I am criticized for not being married or not making that my only focus. It's frustrating and confusing. I have all these things I want to do with my life, one of which is getting married.
I want to make it perfectly clear. I want to get married, when the time is right, when I have met the right person. I don't want to just get married because I can or because it is a check on a list. I especially don't want to be in a bad/unhappy marriage because I got pressured into getting married at the wrong time or to the wrong person for me. You can bet I would rather be single in those situations.
I used to think I would have found the right person by the time I was done with college and that I would have that blessing. But obviously it hasn't happened yet. I am 23 years old sitting here feeling like something is seriously wrong with me because I am not married or dating anyone seriously. I have been home for over a year from my mission and it hasn't happened for me yet. I have all these friends who have been home for six months and bam! They're married. But in reality there isn't anything wrong with me. I am just supposed to wait longer than I thought I was going to.
Plain and simple: I am supposed to live the life Heavenly Father wants me to live. Not what someone else imagines for me.
I was supposed to graduate from BYU Idaho when I did.
I was supposed to serve a mission.
I was supposed to be an EFY counselor.
I am supposed to be in grad school at UNLV.
I am supposed to be living in Las Vegas at this moment.
I think that goes for a lot of things in my life right now.
I am happy with where I am. I love looking back and seeing how far I have come in my life. I have lot of reasons to be grateful and excited for my life.
In the future (not in any particular order)...
I want to graduate from grad school.
I want to work a full time job as a licensed social worker.
I want to travel.
I want to be an awesome aunt to my nieces and nephews.
I want to get married.
I want to ENJOY my life!
I want to be somebody I am proud and happy to be.
In the meantime I found this saying which I want my future husband to say about me when he finally meets me: She was making herself into somebody and not just waiting around to become somebody’s wife.
